In his amazingly detailed post about the chipotle conspiracy, Jared Volcane Milton peppers us with a dazzling array of insights:

Taco, Burrito, What’s Coming Out of Your Speedo

First, the question that haunts all chipotle fans: Burritos or Tacos?. Indeed, little shakes the faith in your soul like such a deep burning question for which is the best meal at chipotle.

To solve this decades old question (Chipotle was born in 1993, you know) Jared decided to nut up, order all the items, and review them as best he could. He presents an amazing chart of ingredients and weights which proves, with absolutely no statistical significance, what we already knew: burritos are heavier than tacos. At least we’ve got numbers for it now.

Chipotle Challenge Ultime

Then he proceeded to eat it all. Yes, ALL!. Quite the manimal you are, Jared. Out of respect I tip my red chipotle trucker hat in your general direction. I’m not sure how many hours this took him, but assuming it was eaten back to back it certainly qualifies as the most food from Chipotle that I’ve seen/read about being consumed in that manner.

Chipotle Conspiracy

Finally Jared sheds light on the dark underbelly of the Chipotle taco situation. It used to be 3 soft tacos, 4 hard tacos. Well, somwhere back in June 2007 Chipotle switched to 3 hard tacos instead of 4. That was the date in Boulder at least. In my experience they also widened the tacos and put more ingredients in them. I don’t know why the change happened - perhaps that change was what made the cmg second quarter earnings so amazing.

Thanks to Pete Bryan for dropping this knowledge on us. In contrast to the burrito mile or the chipotle challenges lots-of-burritos-fast the forrito hands is a great activity for you and your friends on a lazy sunday afternoon (in my opinion).

So she starts talking and says she knows of a fun new drinking game. Now at this point I’m thinking, “Pfffffttt… whatev. Like a dumb girl knows anything about drinking games. What is it going to be? Take a chug for every clump in your mascara? Please.”

She goes ahead and tells me about this game called Forrito Hands. Now I’m all kinds of intrigued and I mentally take back my “dumb girl” comment. She goes on to explain the game. Forrito Hands is a variation of Edward Fortyhands, the drinking game where you duct tape a forty to each hand and must finish both before your hands are freed. (Basically you chug really quick or you’ll end up peeing yourself.)

But in this game you have a forty in one hand, and get this, a Chipotle burrito in the other!! How cool is that? How have I never heard of this before?

Now that sounds like a good challenge.

This is just plain crazy.

I’ve written about the chipotle challenge before - but now I see a new challenge that I just can’t hold myself back from writing about.

Chipotle Mile

The Chipotle Mile is a seriously thorough and sriously disgusting look at what happens when people undertake the chipotle mile. in case you don’t know what it is - the summary is:

• 10 minute burrito eating period in which everyone has to finish their burrito. After the 10 minutes is up, all the competitors must get up and run 2 laps before the next task. If the person didn’t finish their burrito during the allocated “burrito eating period” they must finish eating it after 400m.
• Competitors must throw up outside of the track, or at least attempt to.
• After 800m the runner will have to drink their soda in its entirety.
• After 1200m the runner must eat their chips and guacamole.

Crazy.

Some people see how many hotdogs they can consume, me, if it were anything, it would be burritos.

the sprint chipotle challenge

pirate and robber did their best to down 2 burritos each in one sitting. Interestingly one tried the “eat real fast so your brain won’t think your full” technique while the other tried the “chew it up really well so the food is small and compacted. Technically, both techniques “worked”. Personally I would go for the eat real fast technique, but that’s just my style these days.

Similarly there is the “how fast can you eat it” challenge as Jon and Kenny both tried to down a burrito in 2 minutes which they both failed at, but it’s an interesting idea. I’d rather savor the burrito than try to rush it.

the endurance approach to the chipotle challenge

in slightly older news, this chicago attorney went for the “150 burritos in a year”. i think i’m currently on track for 150 burritos consumed in 6 months this year, but it’s still interesting. i’m not trying to do him one better - it’s just what i want to be doing.

the world of chipotle challenges

As you can see from this poll on ChipotleLovers.com the many facets chipotle challenges are quite apparent: fastest, one handed, most in a sitting, most days in a row. What else is there to life ;)